Wedding Season in Morocco! Watch out ladies and gents…it is that time of year again, WEDDING SEASON! The chickens have been prepped, the cow's fattened, ready for slaughtering, henna is being mixed, drum leather is being stretched and tightened and everyone's finest is freshly aired. IT IS TIME TO PARTY…and partying is what the Moroccan's in our town do…every night, all night!!!
So, for those of you unfamiliar with Moroccan weddings, let me break down the process t you...step by step, day by day…but please keep in mind, this is how the people in our town celebrate and considering there is a mix of "Arab" Moroccans and "Berber" Moroccans here in Aoufous, other areas might celebrate a bit differently. So here goes…and remember, we have firsthand experience (more than once):
Months prior to wedding:
-Girls and boys are not allowed to "court" or date openly so most relationships exist through text messaging and secretive rendezvous or through family relations (it is not unusual for bride and groom to be related some way to each other – and it is not illegal to marry your cousin.)
-Usually engagements are announced about six months to a year before the wedding and if the family has the means, an engagement "party" is held for the couple.
- The soon-to-be bride and groom are still not allowed to be with each other publicly or privately
So, wedding planning doesn't necessarily exist here in Morocco; yes, certain arrangements need to be made a few weeks before the big days (no, that is not a typo, I mean DAYS because the wedding usually last at least three straight days). This consists of renting a huge outdoor tent, and all the supplies for feeding 300 to 600 guests. No invitations are mailed no "save the dates" are even verbalize, because, to our knowledge, the exact, specific date is not nailed down until about a week prior to the wedding (we know this because as crazy, obsessive, control-freak Americans we always want to know WHEN, WHERE, WHAT TIME, HOW LONG, HOW MUCH, ETC, ETC – this becomes very annoying to Moroccans who, frankly, don't know and don't care). Okay, so, supplies are gathered: mats and rugs for seating, tea tables for eating, huge pots and pans for cooking 100 chickens, goat meat, cow meat, lamb, and couscous, and water jugs (keep in mind there is no alcohol at these fetes). Then word is spread…tell a few people, text your family…and the whole world knows that so-and-sos wedding is at such-in-such tomorrow or the next day.
Day 1Prep time: A lot of the food is prepared for cooking the following days. The bride visits the Hammam and gets all waxed and ready. The groom and the boys goof around (as usual). Family starts to arrive and a more "intimate" gathering celebrates that day and night. The first wedding meal is served at about 12:00 midnight or 1:00am (this is actually, pretty normal Moroccan dinner time – especially in the summer when bedtimes tend to get later and later). On day one, sometimes the wedding takes on a more traditional "Arab" routine and the bride and groom actually unite and the bride goes through multiple wardrobe changes through the night – all through the night and I mean from sun down to sun up!
Day 2 Eating, dancing and singing: A cow or multiple sheep are slaughtered in the early morning, around 5:00am – there is a small "ceremony". Food prep continues. Friends, neighbors, family, everyone and their sister arrives – males and females are separated for the duration of the wedding celebration. Music begins to be played using handheld drums and everyone starts to sing and dance. Tea and cookies are served multiple times throughout the day and "lunch" is served at about 4:00pm – at this point there are hundreds of people singing and dancing both outside and inside the bride's parents' house (the groom is having a whole separate celebration – where ever he may live). On day two the bride is painted with henna – her entire feet up to mid calf and both hands up to her forearms. She sits on a "throne" of pillows and blankets and remains stationary for the duration of the day (allowing her henna to dry completely). At this point she is dressed in a more "Arab" wedding dress – sparkly, flashy with her hair done and five pounds of make-up. Lunch usually consists of chicken in cured lemon and olive sauce (of course eaten with bread) followed by a lamb dish with prunes and apricots (again eaten with bread) and then a big bowl of fruit – mostly melons. All meals during the wedding festival are served "Moroccan Family Style", so ONE big platter is put in the middle of the table and is eaten with bread. Also, there is only one mutual water cup shared among the 10 to 12 people per table. After lunch there is more dancing and singing – some people take a little siesta…preparing for the long night ahead. The boys and men usually visit the mosque, or in Sean's cause, run down to the river for a refreshing dip in the cool water (remember it is 100 plus degrees during this whole thing!!!) Towards evening the presents from the groom's camp arrive and this causes the men and women to unite a bit for a lot of dancing and celebration. The gifts are balanced on top of a few women's heads while they are surrounded by the group. Sometimes the presents are all strung up like laundry (most of the gifts are clothing and linens and none of them are wrapped)…as the sun goes down, the bride retreats to your chamber and removes the dried henna leaving beautiful, temporary markings on her hands and feet. She changes into an all white outfit and the traditional Berber wedding attire which consists of a head-dress that covers her entire face (a ritual is performed after she emerges outside and presents herself to the crowd – only women at this point). After the traditional Berber chanting, the bride resumes her position upon her "throne" that has now been brought outside. Singing and dancing continue…tea and cookies are served again and then Hadeuce begins (I do not know how to spell it – but it is pronounce HAY-DOOS). Hadeuce is the traditional Berber "line" dancing. On one side are the men (about eight to ten) with drums and on the other side are the women (about an equal amount) – they dance towards each other and then away and back and forth, drumming and singing the whole time. Each dance lasts for about 15 minutes and each one has a specific "dialogue". Very fun, but hard to get motivated to participate when the night progresses and it is 4:00am in the morning…oh, I got ahead of myself…so, dinner is served around 1:00am (earlier for the guys, because, of course, they get served prior to the women); dinner is usually couscous followed by a beef dish (if the family has the means to buy and slaughter a cow instead of a sheep) and again melon. More singing and dancing, Hadeuce…etc. This lasts all the way through the night…
Day 3 Bride leaves for Grooms house and the partying continues: In the morning the bride prepares to leave her family and friends and join her new husband where he lives (this might be as close as down the street or as far as across the country). This is a sad time for the bride and her family, saying goodbye and preparing for a new life. Breakfast is served early and as morning progresses family and friends, neighbors and acquaintances gather to send the bride off in style. Here is where the boys start having fun…there is this game they play involving garbage and trying to keep the car from driving away…this can go on for a couple hours and, sorry, the humor doesn't translate. But eventually the car, carrying the bride to her new husband is allowed to drive away. The bride is still cloaked in the veil and won't reveal herself until after the wedding ceremony at the groom's place…so, the party continues…
…but that is where I will end my story…weddings are exhausting. Sitting on your butt, on the ground or cement floor for days, can be exhausting, couple that with trying to communicate and figure out what is going on around you and what you are supposed to do (and realizing, that after 30 minutes of trying VERY HARD to understand the lady that is sitting next to you, she speaks Darija and not Tam…hmmm). I tried to keep it short, but, really, the weddings aren't here…reminds me of the time I went to a Catholic wedding…well, without the whole God thing and the up and down up and down J. Please enjoy the pics and let me know if you have any questions…I tried to give a good account…but I think I am still tired from the two weddings we attended last week (and, not to mention, the side effects of eating chicken that decided to make me sick for the past week)…did I mention I only had a few hours of sleep each day?
Love and peace to all…until next time!
~em
Posts
